Esra

Where madness meets reality

equality Archive

Monday

12

August 2013

1

COMMENTS

Finding The Right Path in Life

Written by , Posted in Babbles

As we grew up this was a taboo to discuss or even question. We were taught that the religion or doctrine dictated to us in school is the right path in life without any further questions. You are not allowed to ask or to wonder even though “not everyone who wonders is lost”. I believe questioning and wondering will always lead you on the right path. You need to ask questions to get answers to believe, otherwise you are just a follower to what you found your ancestors doing which all religions came to earth to fight.praying
Religion is not a form of physical acts you do without understanding the rational behind it. It is a spiritual journey that guides you through life to lead you to the happy ending or heavens; the ultimate goal of life.
I was afraid to ask. I couldn’t negotiate or challenge anyone with questions as the answer was always: Don’t debate. Don’t argue.
What you can do is start reading. I realized that to find your right path in life you have to keep an open mind, start opening to others and observe their cultures and beliefs. The more you are exposed to the more you start getting a clearer picture.
Free yourself from all the guides you had built in your head. Start with a clean slate and don’t accept or reject any idea you are exposed to.
Beware of the “gurus” or whoever consider themselves a part of a cult. Cults usually position themselves asspiritual groups that control you mentally or physically.
Embrace uncertainty; nobody is absolutely sure about anything. Knowledge can never be absolute.
Don’t be polluted with what is going on around you: what others are reflecting isn’t a reflection of their religion. Religions have been altered to suit and benefit the strong parties in each culture till it was negatively presented.
Never compromise thinking for social acceptance or just to fit in. You were given a brain to think and challenge.
Religion and faith are more than a dress code, more than a booklet being shared by a tribe, and more than a guru sharing his/her wisdom in a TV show.
Faith is a nonstop spiritual journey of what you believe in.
In the end, I realized I believe in peace, in coexistence,and in accepting others and this is what I found all Abrahamic religions call for especially Islam.
Islam was the most misinterpreted religion. Some Muslims harmed Islam more than they benefitted it, but this will never ruin or affect the fact that Islam was found to help humanity prosper: “Mercy to all worlds”.
Till today Islam is being mistaken with terrorism, jihadists, degrading women, and unaccepting of others while the core values of Islam are peace, equality, and prosperity for all ages as far as mankind exists. In Islam you are asked to never stop learning or working till the end of the world. “If the Day of Judgment erupts while you are planting a new tree, carry on and plant it”. The first word in Quran was “Read”.
After embracing this faith I do believe that it is my role to share this with the world and to be a good Muslim as much as I can to represent a better image of this great religion.

Wednesday

24

July 2013

1

COMMENTS

Why should it always be a husband?

Written by , Posted in Babbles, Experience

We live in the most conservative Asian culture –or maybe just a double-faced blind-sided society.

If you look around you in your own social circle, you’ll understand what I’ll be discussing here.

We women were raised with one ultimate goal, which is to get married and procreate like rabbits. It is very rare to find a family that raises their daughter to be a useful member of the society rather than grooming her to be a trophy wife.

equal

How many career-related success parties have you heard about compared to how many weddings and engagement parties you’ve been invited to during a year?

Did your elder relatives ever gather to celebrate a promotion or an achievement in your career the way they do if you get married or have a baby?

The idea of achievements and success are usually gender discriminated. Any achievement you as a woman achieve is nothing unless you have a kid jumping around your legs or a man by your side as if you are incomplete without him. We’ve never seen society caring about a man’s social status when celebrating his success.

I’m not against the idea of building a family or having a partner that supports you through life. I’m just against the concept of making a woman’s life revolve around it.

The perception of being incomplete. The idea that men are complete by their financial independency, but you as a woman will never be unless you have a ring around your finger.

We don’t need the sympathy or the sad looks every time an outstanding strong successful husband-less woman is around, and some might take it to a next level and start discussing how to make her life better by having a husband or being so generous in suggesting an x person as a candidate.

All we seek is to be defined as me, a strong independent woman with no labels and no attachments the same way you always identify independent men.

Monday

24

June 2013

0

COMMENTS

You’ve Got a Friend in me!

Written by , Posted in Babbles

friends

We all grew up listening to and humming the song (You’ve Got a Friend in me!) We grew up to understand that friendship is the most important relationship between human beings. No matter what your age, gender, location, or background we all need a friend to lean on and to walk side by side with through life.

“Friendship is defined as the relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than acquaintanceship”. It was never stated yet always debated that friends should be from the same gender. In my personal opinion gender discrimination is only a social barrier that we grew up with but had no fundamental reason behind it.

Society has long considered romance to be based on the prototypical male-female relationship because it keeps the life cycle going by bringing more babies into the world. Cross-sex friendship has primarily been ignored. Our typical men-women relationships were: 1.) families meet; 2.) couple gets engaged; 3.) they get married and 4.) have kids. This is who defined these relationships?

We’ve always been taught that cross-sex friendships are charged with sexual tension and danger.  However, my own personal experience is that men and women can be friends.  This is not only true with your significant other.

Society is different and things are changing rapidly around us. If we go back to 1989 –when Harry met Sally- research said less that 10% admitted to having a close friend of the other sex. However, now with the new media and the cultural shift, people have repudiated this idea. Men and women are working together, networking, cheering the same soccer team, and even sharing the same wardrobe. With everything that is happening around us, the question should be: who doesn’t have a friend of the opposite sex?

The way that men and women respond to things is very encouraging.  It is not healthy to narrow down our understanding of a whole gender to one person – a significant other.. “Men have grown up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest. For women, even a healthy debate—if there is such a thing—is about exchanging information and support.” says Deborah Tannen. Men and women are also becoming more androgynous as their societal roles become more similar. “Men are more willing to have feminine characteristics, and women are a lot more willing to admit to traditionally masculine characteristics, like assertiveness,” said Camille Chatterjee. There are many other testimonials that show you how different it is to deal with the opposite sex.

The main challenges you’ll face in this new relationship are:

– Define your relationship: “People don’t know what feelings are appropriate toward the opposite sex, unless they’re what the culture defines as appropriate.”

– Overcome the attraction by not ignoring it or being unwelcoming to it.

– In a male dominated society, ensure that you bring power to the game and establish equality.

– Deal with doubters with confidence; they will never be satisfied no matter what it is said.

– Where should you meet: working together is a start, online discussions, and surprisingly with time you’ll find other ways to interact.

Cross-sex relationships are not always about physical attraction. It is possible to share all of the qualities that define best friends. However, with time you will both realize that it won’t work in a serious romantic situation. The longer the friendship has lasted, the harder you will be able to see it as a romantic possibility.

You will never be able to experience the best that friendship has to offer until you unleash yourself from the social boundaries and just live the moment friend to friend,  human to  human and with no other labels to identify you.