Esra

Where madness meets reality

Monthly Archive: July 2013

Monday

29

July 2013

0

COMMENTS

The Tough Cookie

Written by , Posted in Babbles

strong-smiling-woman

We all love to have an impressive personality stating that we are strong, and in a male dominating society we strive to prove that we have opinions that matter and stand out in our minds. The thing we might lack the most is understanding the differences between the strong character, the tough cookie, and imposing unjustified opinions just for the sake of pointing out our existence. It was often perceived that a weak female personality is the inability to make decisions on her own or not disclosing her opinions freely.

After reading a lot of personal development books and after going through a lot of exercises myself I wanted to share the traits that can actually give me or any other woman the strength in our outstanding personalities.

At first we have to admit and be aware that a strong character is not violent or stubborn; these are far from defining a strong personality, in both genders.

– A strong personality can’t be seen as vanity, there is a very thin line between being self-confident and vanity or pride in yourself which is a huge sign of a weak person.

– Sharpness is not strong. Some might assume that you have to be sharp and violent to put things straight while being strong is the art of being able to deal with others depending on their minds and never underestimating anyone.

– A strong female character uses her capabilities to achieve her goals and aspirations and overcome the difficulties to reach them.

– You find joy and pleasure in helping and guiding others. You don’t wait for anything from anyone in return for what you gave.

– The self confidence and strong personality make you not pay attention to the words of hypocrisy which other women usually enjoy. Your capabilities help you feel the sincerity in the words you receive.

– You are ambitious with targets and goals in life and you set a plan for yourself to work hard to achieve them and never give in to failure and despair.

– You are open to the world, to everyone and always up for meeting new people and building new relationships, which makes you worthy of love and respect.

– A strong woman knows the value of time, energy, and effort being put into tasks and knows how to invest in herself to enjoy and balance her work and leisure.

– In the end, what is most important is a strong woman who is proud of her opinions and not afraid to share them with anyone, not afraid of telling the truth to anybody, but is also keen and considerate about the feelings of others. Even when you have the ability to fight hard you’ll still have the internal power of observation that enables you to read what is going on around you and adjust your reactions accordingly.

 “A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts.” – Nancy Rathburn

Wednesday

24

July 2013

1

COMMENTS

Why should it always be a husband?

Written by , Posted in Babbles, Experience

We live in the most conservative Asian culture –or maybe just a double-faced blind-sided society.

If you look around you in your own social circle, you’ll understand what I’ll be discussing here.

We women were raised with one ultimate goal, which is to get married and procreate like rabbits. It is very rare to find a family that raises their daughter to be a useful member of the society rather than grooming her to be a trophy wife.

equal

How many career-related success parties have you heard about compared to how many weddings and engagement parties you’ve been invited to during a year?

Did your elder relatives ever gather to celebrate a promotion or an achievement in your career the way they do if you get married or have a baby?

The idea of achievements and success are usually gender discriminated. Any achievement you as a woman achieve is nothing unless you have a kid jumping around your legs or a man by your side as if you are incomplete without him. We’ve never seen society caring about a man’s social status when celebrating his success.

I’m not against the idea of building a family or having a partner that supports you through life. I’m just against the concept of making a woman’s life revolve around it.

The perception of being incomplete. The idea that men are complete by their financial independency, but you as a woman will never be unless you have a ring around your finger.

We don’t need the sympathy or the sad looks every time an outstanding strong successful husband-less woman is around, and some might take it to a next level and start discussing how to make her life better by having a husband or being so generous in suggesting an x person as a candidate.

All we seek is to be defined as me, a strong independent woman with no labels and no attachments the same way you always identify independent men.

Tuesday

16

July 2013

0

COMMENTS

Smiling is Not Flirting

Written by , Posted in Babbles

I tend to be the smiling person you run into while grabbing your morning coffee or maybe, sometimes, the person striking a conversation at the airport terminal or while waiting for your dentist appointment.smiling-woman

I was raised in an open free house with a multicultural background and have been living in different parts of the world as I grew up exposed to all kinds of ethnicities being a daughter of my great never stay still family. I do believe that my background made me open to the world and more accepting of others. I really see myself as a friend to everyone.

In the past few years I settled in Riyadh, a dry, emotionless city. It’s sad that I’m giving it this name, but everyone who ever lived or stayed here would agree with me that even with all the urban modern architecture around us, the desert is still affecting the society badly in being strict, firm, and cold, emotionally. It is rarely witnessed, and relatively weird smiling to strangers in the street; same or cross gender.

With all of the strict cultures, the social boundaries, and religious barriers – as they claim-, people became aggressively closed to themselves which resulted in misinterpreting any positive or nice gesture – especially with the other gender- and I really started to notice it heavily and to be honest it is one of the most annoying feelings ever to have your genuine acts misinterpreted just because of the cultural or old social misperceptions.

What I’m writing here might sound self-involved and delusional but I want to assure you I’m not the kind of hair-flipping narcissistic diva tearing hearts apart with her looks and walk. I’m not even aware if physical appearance has any involvement here when it comes to transforming any act of politeness into an invitation to start an unwanted conversation and in worse cases you end up getting yourself a stalker with a set mentality that you were meant for each other because you did give him the green light when you smiled back while exchanging business cards at an event.

It annoys me to find that some might consider my millisecond longer smiles or my ‘have a pleasant evening’ wishes an indication of flirting or a welcoming sign to go further with their moves.

I do understand the mechanism of relationships and how social relations develop; we can see it happening everywhere in real life and in the cyber world. We all start as strangers in the beginning but there will always be body language, a physical distance, or an emoticon that can tell if the other participant of the conversation is interested. You need to pay attention to that.

The last thing I or any other outgoing woman can ever imagine is living in a closed, stressed, smile-less world because of this condition so please let’s all agree:
Smiling is not flirting!
Texting to check on your health after a week of the flu is not flirting!
Holding the door for you at the entrance is not flirting!
A handshake while exchanging business cards is not flirting!
And of course, replying to your tweet or complimenting your blog post is not a flirtation, whatsoever.

Friday

5

July 2013

0

COMMENTS

Believing is just the beginning! All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!

Written by , Posted in Babbles, Experience

“All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!” – J.M. Barrie, “Peter Pan”

It’s all about believing your dream and chasing it. Mandela did it, Abraham Lincoln did it, Marie Curie did it, Cinderella did it—and you will do it.
Never underestimate a dream, and never trick yourself into thinking you can’t be whom you want to be. Life is about dreaming, taking risks, and fulfilling goals.Dreaming and Believing But believing is only the beginning. You can’t sit still and wait for a dream to materialize; all achievers were once dreamers who had not only faith, but also ambition.

To start achieving your dream, you must:

1. Have faith in the amazing power of a dream.
2. Create a vision for the future. Live this vision—fantasize about it, build on it, see it grow, and allow yourself to be

taken over by it-.
3. Develop an emotional yet intelligent attitude toward your dream.
4. Set up an action plan for your dream, and be patient and realistic (Rome wasn’t build in a day).
5. Live with the subconscious belief that this dream is a reality, and is happening even though you don’t see it just yet. Let it be the fuel running your engine, the reason you get out of bed every morning, and the motivation to clear your head and meditate in your room every night.
6. Don’t surrender, and never take no for answer. Be persistent.
7. Don’t let negative thoughts control you or hold you back.
8. Be flexible and open-minded for any detours on the road to achieving your dream (as long as they don’t keep you from your final goal).
9. Review your progress frequently: Are you getting closer? Are you on track? If not, change your approach—before it’s too late.
10. Consult experienced people around you, and listen to everyone. You never know who will add value to your thoughts and give you a free insight you were never aware of.

Whenever the road ahead of you becomes blocked, remember that there is an “outer space”, as Thomas Edison once described it. Simply pray to your god to expand your creative imagination and inner peace.
And at the end, never ever give up. Dreams will simply remain dreams and never become realities if you stop moving toward them.

Don’t stop dreaming—and believing.